We Don't Talk Anymore
by Superstar120301
Summary: Based off of the song 'We Don't Talk Anymore', Santana and Brittany struggle to be around each other when all they want to do is be with each other. Memories, mistakes, mourning, all of it paired with a longing lust to be together again. How are they going to cope with their own lives when they aren't apart of each others? One Shot, but open to extension.
_A/N hello beautiful people. So this is just a little short thing i've had in my head ever since i heard the song We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth, i thought it suited them well in this context and i hope you guys enjoy this angsty stuff cause honestly some of my favourite fics are the ones like this so if you have any just send them my way lmao. This is supposed to be a one shot but if you guys really like it and want to see it go a little further then just tell me and i'll probably do it! Anyway i hope you like this, for all the angst lovers out there, enjoy!_

* * *

 _We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore  
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

It's cold. Snow is falling soundlessly throughout the air. It's quite beautiful actually, the way the small snow dots flutter across, it's almost like looking up into the sky on a clear night, watching the stars twinkle. But it's not the same, not tonight, not for Santana. She can't admire the snow, she can't admire the way it falls gracefully in front of her, she can't think about anything else besides the memories that this place brings her. It's weird, being back home. So many images flash before her eyes, all of them including _her._ Santana's heart clenches as she looks out into the distance, her jaw clenching and her lips twisting in agony. She doesn't know why she came back, this isn't where she belongs. Then again, where _does_ she belong?

Lima isn't her home anymore, it's just a constant reminder of what she's lost, what she's given up, what isn't hers anymore. That's her fault though, and she knows that. She was the one who came down here, she was the one who broke the love of her life's heart, and she was the one who ended up leaving. She can still remember everything from that night, every single detail, every tear, ever heart clench, she can remember it all. The memories paint her dreams, her nightmares.

 _"_ _I haven't been a good girlfriend to you"_

 _"_ _You know this isn't working"_

 _"_ _You know that I will always love you the most"_

Her own words cut through her heart, and she feels self-loathing seep through every crack in her façade. She spent weeks trying to tell herself that she did the right thing, that college was getting in between them and that she didn't want to hurt Brittany anymore. She couldn't focus in class; she couldn't deal with the pain of knowing that on the weekends, she didn't have anyone to go home to. Home. This wasn't her home, college wasn't her home, _Brittany_ was her home. And now she'd lost that too. She realised that college isn't what she wants in life, becoming a cheerleader isn't her future. So on a crazy bender, she ended up at Kurt and Rachel's apartment in New York City, bag in hand and a wary smile. They accepted her though. They're a dysfunctional bunch, and they fight constantly, but they're pretty much a family, and something that Santana needs so badly at this time.

Kurt and Rachel once made the mistake of asking how Brittany was, and when Santana stiffened incredibly, her eyes growing stormy and her jaw clenching so hard her teeth could break, Kurt and Rachel immediately knew why.

"We broke up," is all Santana said on the matter, indicating that the topic was never to be brought up again.

 _We don't love anymore  
What was all of it for?  
Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

Santana hasn't spoken to Brittany in months. It hurts her too much to look at her phone, to say goodnight without saying 'I love you'. Eventually Santana stops replying, and eventually, Santana stops waking up to messages on her phone. They're civil to one another, that's true, but it's not the same. She knows Brittany is pissed off at her for giving up so easily, and frankly, Santana is pissed off at herself too. Even now, after all these months, she still can't stop her heart beating for Brittany. Even when she finds out that Brittany isn't hers anymore, she's Sam's now.

 _I just heard you found the one you've been looking  
You've been looking for  
I wish I would have known that wasn't me_

She wishes she never picked up the call from Tina, she wishes she never heard the word 'Bram' enter her ears. Tina hung up right after that, thank god, and Santana stood frozen in the living room, shell shocked. She couldn't remember how to breathe, how to stop shaking, how to stop throwing up. Her roommates looked severely worried when she collapsed on her bed and started shaking with tears. Brittany moved on, Brittany had someone else to hold her now, someone else to love her, someone else to need her. Santana almost believed she was in hell, because it hurt her too much to think it was a reality.

 _Cause even after all this time I still wonder  
Why I can't move on  
Just the way you did so easily_

Santana wants to be mad at Brittany for getting with Sam, but she knows she can't be. After all, she did say it was okay for Brittany to date other people. But she only said that so she could seem like she was mature, but honestly, the thought of someone else calling Brittany their girlfriend makes Santana feel sick.

Santana is, or rather was, at a glee reunion party. Rachel insists on having basically every month, and every month Santana declines to go, afraid of seeing Brittany again. But this time it's different, it's near the holidays so Santana goes to visit her family, and Rachel decides it's the perfect time to have a reunion, that way Santana can't escape it. After a minute straight of talking, Rachel finally shuts up when Santana yells in frustration that she'll go.

It's a mistake though, because even though the first hour or so is fun, catching up with everyone she has missed so much, everything goes to shit once Brittany and Sam show up. Santana is doing shots when Brittany comes through the door, in all her elegancy, on the arm of Sam. She looks so beautiful, even better than before. Brown eyes lock with blue one, and she can see the surprise lingering in them. They haven't seen each other face to face in months, there are so many things left unsaid, so many feelings left unfelt. Yet all they do is stare at each other for a little longer than normal, and most eyes are watching them. Santana hasn't heard anything about Brittany, aside from the Sam thing. It's not that she hasn't heard anything; it's more that she _doesn't_ want to hear anything. It hurts too much.

 _Don't wanna know  
What kind of dress you're wearing tonight  
If he's holding onto you so tight  
The way I did before_

Her eyes drift to where Sam is holding Brittany's waist protectively, and Santana can feel the alcohol in her stomach try to make an appearance. She pulls her eyes away and takes down another shot. She wipes her mouth sloppily with the back of her hand and hurriedly mumbles that she's going to get some air. She pushes past the crowd of people, not bothering to apologise or look up. Brittany and Sam are still at the door, talking to Tina and Mike. Santana takes a deep breath and asks Tina as politely as she can to move, not making eye contact with Brittany, who she knows is watching her. Tina nods knowingly and swiftly moves out of the way. Santana is out of the house and into the cold, empty streets in a matter of seconds.

 _I overdosed  
Should've known your love was a game  
Now I can't get you out of my brain  
Oh, it's such a shame_

The further away she walks, the more she feels sick. God, she hates herself for not being composed enough to say hello, for not being strong enough to make conversation or even smile at Brittany. She doesn't know why it's hurting her so much, and she doesn't know why she feels so sick. It's not like Brittany was the one who broke up with her, and is now showing off her new boyfriend. Santana was the one who broke up with her. That thought, and the memories accompanying them, are the pushing points for Santana. She stumbles and grips the side of a bench, bending over and hurling the contents of her stomach. Her eyes at shut tight, but the darkness is replaced by a pair of blue eyes looking at her. Santana whimpers and tears fall down her face, her hands gripping the bench so hard she's afraid it might actually snap.

She doesn't think she needs to throw up anymore, so she sinks down onto the bench, sighing as her head stops spinning and her stomach stops contracting. She doesn't know why she feels so pathetic, Brittany has moved on, maybe she should too. But, she doesn't want to move on, she doesn't want to say I love you to anyone else; she doesn't want to fall asleep next to someone who isn't Brittany. Brittany has always been hers, so Santana doesn't know how to function when the blonde isn't anymore. She can hear footsteps approaching her, and she is praying for it to be Brittany, but she's also praying for it to not be. It's Kurt, and Santana feels both relief and disappointment flood through her.

"Hey," he offers softly, taking a seat next to Santana. She nods at him in response, and looks down at her fingers, twiddling them. "It's cold outside, why don't you come back in?" Santana smiles a little.

"I'm impartial to the cold, and no thanks, I prefer it out here," Santana says. Kurt tightens his lips and blows out a puff of air, watching it turn to vapour in front of him.

"You can't avoid her forever, you know." Kurt says, straight to the point, "I know it sucks seeing an ex with someone else, and I don't know what happened between you guys, but I know you, and I know you miss her a lot. It's better to have her just as a friend, then as nothing at all." His words cut through Santana. _Friend, just as a friend._

 _We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore  
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

"We've never been _just_ friends before. And I know it's better to have her as a friend, but you don't understand. I don't know how I'm supposed to be around her without wanting to tell her I'm sorry for breaking up with her; tell her I was wrong and that we can do this." Kurt is surprised, Santana hadn't ever disclosed anything about the break up other than the fact that they broke up. "She'll always be more to me than just a friend, and I'll never stop loving her, even if she loves someone else." Kurt doesn't know what to say, he understands, but his heart still hurts for the broken looking Latina sitting next to him.

 _We don't love anymore  
What was all of it for?_

"What are you going to do now? _"_ He asks, recognising the look on his friends face. It's the one where she is in deep thought, usually about to make a big decision.

"I don't know," she breathes out, staring straight ahead.

"Why don't you just try to talk to her?" Kurt asks hopefully. Santana gives small bitter laugh.

"I don't know how to do that," she says, "I _can't_ do that."

"Why not?" Kurt challenges. She turns to him with a sorrowful expression.

"I don't what I'd say to her, I don't know how I'll talk to her without crying, without begging her to take me back," she sighs, "besides, it doesn't matter. There's nothing else I can talk to her about, I don't know anything about her life anymore,"

"Why is that?" Kurt asks, he thought Santana kept tabs on Brittany, even when they weren't talking.

 _Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

Santana looks straight ahead, into the darkness and shrugs.

"Because, we don't talk anymore."

* * *

Brittany can't breathe. She wants to throw up, she wants to cry, scream, and she wants to punch Rachel in the face. But she can't because it's not Rachel's fault. They're at Lima's local grocery store, and Brittany is gripping onto her shopping cart for dear life. Rachel just told her that Santana has a girlfriend, though Brittany thinks that Rachel didn't mean to tell her that.

 _"_ _Yeah, Kurt, Santana, Dani, Elliot and I were in the band," Rachel recalls. Brittany scrunches her face, she's heard of Elliot, but not Dani before._

 _"_ _Dani?" Rachel nods, her mouth opening before her mind can filter the words._

 _"_ _Yeah she's Santana's girl…Friend," Rachel says, a noticeable pause after the word girl, as if she realises that it was a mistake to say that._

She doesn't understand why she feels so shit when she hears that, maybe it's because Santana has found someone new. But then again, Brittany had too, when she was dating Sam. But they're over now, and Santana knew that, so why did she start a new relationship? Had she finally moved on from Brittany? _"You know that I will always love you the most."_ The words swam in her head, what if she lied? What if she doesn't love Brittany anymore? That thought makes her sick to her stomach, and she almost feels the bile run up her throat. Rachel is looking at her with awkwardness and concern.

 _I just hope you're lying next to somebody  
Who knows how to love you like me_

She can't believe she's reacting this way. She's still so angry at Santana for leaving her, for telling her long distance was too much and for breaking off contact. She's so mad that Santana thought she could make Brittany happier by leaving her. She can remember every single word they said when Santana broke up with her; she can remember the small kiss they shared.

 _"_ _I love you too,"_

That was the last time Brittany had said that to her, and that was months ago. They've all grown up now, hell, Brittany even got into MIT. Nothing has ever made her happier than being with Santana though. But it's too late; Santana has someone she can be happy with. She wonders if this is how Santana felt when she and Sam were together. She can still remember the pain in the Latina's eyes when they came to the party together, and Santana saw them. _She left you though,_ Brittany's mind says, and all of a sudden, all the bitterness and heartache comes rushing back to her.

 _There must be a good reason that you're gone_

Why is Santana gone? Why did she break up with Brittany all those months ago? Brittany had tried her best to remember why, which is weird because she can remember ever detail about that night, but she can't remember _why._ Why had Santana given up so easily, when things had gotten a little rough? Why hadn't Brittany chased after her, shown up to her dorm and told her that no matter what, she'd always be the love of her life?

 _Every now and then I think you  
Might want me to come show up at your door  
But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong_

She knows Santana is living up in New York now, with Kurt and Rachel. Brittany isn't in high school anymore, and she's on break at MIT right now. She can go wherever she wants. She wants to go to Santana, everything in her body is telling her to go, but her fragile heart is anchoring her down, afraid of getting involved again only to have Santana run out when things get a little tough.

They haven't spoken in a long time, not a real conversation anyway. Brittany misses her, she doesn't realise how fucking badly she misses Santana. She can't go to sleep without having at least one dream about the Latina. It sucks so badly, to have the love of your life belong to someone else, and she wonders whether or not if she never dated Sam, would they have gotten back together? She thinks about Santana's new girlfriend, Dani. She thinks about how this new girl watches Santana sleep, makes her smile and laughs, makes her happy.

 _Don't wanna know  
If you're looking into her eyes  
If she's holding onto you so tight the way I did before_

"Brittany?" Rachel calls hesitantly. The blonde snaps back into reality with a forced sheepish smile.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I was just… Thinking," Rachel looks at her disbelievingly. She shakes her head and sighs, and her sigh sounds tired, and it sounds like she's sighed like that before.

"You guys are unbelievable," Rachel says pointedly. Brittany is a little taken aback.

"Um what?" Rachel only shakes her head again and frowns.

"You and Santana," Rachel ignores the way Brittany's eyes widened, "you're both dancing around each other. It's so obvious that you still love her, even after all this time. Do you know how many times I've had this conversation with Santana? All she ever says is that she messed up and that you don't love her anymore. But is that true? Do you not love Santana anymore?"

"I, uh, I-I…" Brittany stammers. Rachel throws her hands up.

"See! Exactly, you still _love_ her, and she still loves you too Brittany," the blonde's mind kicks back into reality and she realises what Rachel is saying, and how sort of absurd it sounds.

 _I overdosed  
Should've known your love was a game  
Now I can't get you out of my brain  
Oh, it's such a shame_

"Rachel, Santana broke up with _me,_ and now she has a new girlfriend, she can't be in love with me," Brittany says, ignoring the pain that seeps through her still cracked heart. Rachel only shakes her head.

"When you were dating Sam, tell me honestly, were you not in love with her still?" Brittany bites her lip, her mouth opening to say no, to lie and protect her heart, but no words come out. Rachel nods.

"Just tell her how you feel; I know that she'd drop anything and everything at the chance to be with you again." Rachel urges, "I know she looks happy now, but I can see that she's never been as happy as she was when she is with you. And Dani is great, but I don't want her to have the weight of pressuring herself to love someone just so it means she doesn't have to love you. It'll destroy her, and it'll destroy you too, watching her try and love someone else." Brittany can feel her heart strings tugging, she wants so badly to call Santana on the phone, and tell her she's coming to New York to be with her, to love her again like nothing ever happened. But this isn't some romantic movie, where she can just show up at her place, profess her love and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.

 _That we don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)  
We don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)_

So Brittany only gives Rachel a tired, tight lipped smile, says her goodbyes, and leaves the store. Her phone is in her hands and ready to dial Santana's number. Her fingers push the phone icon and scroll down to 'S'. Her thumb hovers over the call button and her stomach flips. She stares down at her phone and a bitter laugh comes out. Santana broke up with her, why should she be the one to try and get back together? Santana broke up with her for a reason, and now she has a new girlfriend.

 _There's a reason we don't talk anymore,_ she thinks.

* * *

 _We don't talk anymore, like we used to do  
We don't love anymore (We don't, we don't)  
What was all of it for? (We don't, we don't)  
Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

It's been a month since Brittany and Rachel ran into each other at the grocery store, and it's a month later than disaster strikes. Santana is coming back to Lima. Santana is incredibly anxious to come back, because she knows Brittany will be there. _Brittany,_ the name running through her head makes her sigh; she misses Brittany so fucking much. She almost can't wait to see her, maybe they'll talk, and maybe they'll even hug. She doesn't feel as guilty for missing Brittany, now that she broke up with Dani. It didn't feel right, watching and knowing that Dani was falling in love with her. She couldn't have someone fall in love with her when she knows that deep down her heart is still devoted to another. No one but Kurt and Rachel know she's single, and she doesn't really want to advertise it. Two failed relationships in less than two years, what a bummer.

 _Don't wanna know  
What kind of dress you're wearing tonight  
If he's giving it to you just right  
The way I did before_

Santana wonders about Brittany, if she's found anyone new at MIT, if she's going to come back to Lima with a man on her arms or if she's going to come back to Lima at all. The thought of someone else with Brittany makes Santana as sick as it did when the blonde was dating Sam. She can't stop thinking about Brittany, about her smile, her laugh, her everything.

 _I overdosed  
Should've known your love was a game  
Now I can't get you out of my brain  
Oh, it's such a shame_

Brittany is walking towards the choir room; she can hear noise from inside so she assumes people are already there. She can't wait to see everyone, and by everyone, her heart means Santana. The fact that the Latina could be on the other side of the door, just waiting for her, almost makes her jump with glee, and run with fear. She still hasn't gotten over the pain, the pain of the break up, the pain of Santana belonging to someone else, the pain of everything.

 _That we don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)  
We don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)  
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

Brittany takes a deep breath and she walks up to the door, her fingers shaking and sweating despite her not being hot. The fingers clamp around the door knob and she turns it, ignoring the sickly sweet feeling she gets as the door swings open with ease. All eyes turn to her and she smiles timidly, trying her absolute best not to look at Santana. Everyone cheers and greets her, and a genuine smile graces her lips as she realises how much she's missed everyone. _Santana the most._

Santana watches her like a hawk when she comes in. She's more beautiful than before, more perfect _._ Her smile is bright and her eyes are glowing when she hugs everyone. Santana doesn't make any move to stand up, she just watches from far away with a small smile on her face. She's a little hurt that Brittany hasn't looked at her yet, or even done anything to suggest she knows Santana is even in the room. Sure, they haven't spoken a lot, barely anything actually.

 _We don't love anymore (We don't, we don't)  
What was all of it for? (We don't, we don't)  
Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

Brittany finally looks up at the chairs, and her breath stops when she makes eye contact with Santana, who is already looking at her. The world stops, and so does time, all that matters is her and Santana, looking at each other. They both don't know what to do, and Brittany can't actually remember the last time they made eye contact. All the air leaves Brittany's lungs; Santana looks beautiful, so _so_ beautiful. But all the beauty in the world can't stop the memories from rushing back to her head.

" _And I need to tell you something that I don't know how to say"_

 _"_ _I can't come home on the weekends and pretend that things are the way there were, because they aren't"_

 _"_ _Let's just do the mature thing here, okay? This is not an official break up"_

" _You know I will always love you the most"_

Brittany can feel her heart cracking again, staring up at Santana, watching her sit in the very same spot she was sitting the day she broke Brittany's heart. So Brittany only smiles, a little bitterly, and looks away.

 _(We don't talk anymore)  
Don't wanna know  
What kind of dress you're wearing tonight (Oh)  
If he's holding onto you so tight (Oh)_

* * *

Brittany is standing in her old bed room, her fingers tracing over the pictures that sit perched on her wardrobe. All of them include Santana, and she smiles a little when she reads the happiness written over both their faces. There's one on her bedside table, where Brittany is kissing her cheek and Santana is smiling lovingly at her. She smiles for a millisecond before her heart starts bleeding. She sighs and sits down on her bed. She's leaving to return to MIT tomorrow, and she still hasn't held a full conversation with Santana yet. In the choir room, they said their hellos, and their goodbyes. That was all. She sighs again and closes her eyes. She's leaving again tomorrow, and she isn't sure if she wants to come back again. There's been ample opportunity for Santana and her to rekindle their relationship, yet nothing's happened. Maybe they're too far gone; maybe they're past the stage where they can get back together. Maybe Santana will be the girl Brittany will talk about in twenty years when she talks about her first love, and her first heart break.

Despite everything, Brittany s _till_ can't stop thinking about Santana. She sort of wishes that she'd tried harder to talk to her, but every time they saw each other, Brittany was just reminded of the worst day of her life. It seems her thoughts are a reality, because she almost screams when she hears a voice.

"Brittany?" The blonde's eyes shoot open and she sits up abruptly. Santana is standing warily at the door.

"Santana?! What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?" Santana only shuffles in her spot for a little, a small smile gracing her features, trying to lighten the mood.

"Um your mum let me in, before she went out. I've been going up and the down the stairs for five minutes, trying to work up the courage to talk to you," Santana says sheepishly. Brittany stands up, and Santana takes that as an invitation to come inside. The air is really awkward, they haven't been alone in a room forever, and the room is starting to get really hot.

"We haven't really been talking lately, and I know we've been saying hello and shit, but that's not really talking. That's not how we use to talk." Santana says. Brittany winces, knowing where this is going. They're going to get everything out now.

"I don't know how to talk to you," Brittany says honestly. Santana nods, and runs her fingers through her hair.

"I don't know either, but…" Santana hesitates, like she's unsure if she should continue her sentence, "I really, really fucking miss you." Santana ends with a small bitter laugh. Brittany's heart turns, and she feels rooted to her spot. She can't move her limbs, and her mouth is dropping open.

"I-I-I…" Brittany stammers. Santana smiles a little and sighs.

"Look, I know it's really shitty of me to come here, and to tell you I miss you when I'm the reason we aren't even together anymore," Brittany feels her heart clench, "it hurts every time I see you, every time I think about that day, every time I remember what I said to you." The blonde wants to cry; she shakes her head and raises her hand.

"Don't, don't do this," she breathes out. She's not ready for this. Santana ignores her though, instead she comes closer, and Brittany can't move away.

"I regret it; I regret everything so fucking much. I regret leaving you, giving up on us, not coming back and telling you I love you more than anything in this world, telling you that I _still_ love you more than anything else in this world." Brittany is openly crying now, she shakes her head and backs up, taking in shaky breaths. Anger and confusion are coursing through her body now.

"No! No, don't do that!" She yells exasperated, tears are streaming down her face, "you don't get to make me fall in love you with, and then leave me when things get a little rough. You don't get to stop talking to me for months and then just show up at my house and tell me how much you love me!"

"Britt-"Santana starts, trying to move closer. Brittany only shakes her head and holds up her hands, cutting Santana off.

"No, you left me. And even after all this time, I want to hate you so much, I want to hate you for breaking me. I thought I could move on, I thought Sam could help me move on, but he couldn't. Every time we fucked all I saw was your face, wishing it was you on top of me, not him. Every time we kissed, I wished it was your lips, not his." She yells, coming closer and putting her face in front of Santana's, "But it wasn't your lips, and you weren't there. I'm so angry at you, I want to scream at you and tell you how much you hurt me and how much I hate you, but even after everything, all I want to do is… Is…" She trails off.

Their faces are closer than ever, they're both sure where this is going, but neither of them wants to stop it.

"Is what?" Santana breathes out, as if for conformation. Brittany eyes are in between panic and lust.

"Is this," she grabs Santana's neck and crashes their lips together. The kiss is soft, and sweet, and short. Brittany pulls away, but her hand is still gripping Santana's neck. She looks down at Santana for a second, her eyes flickering from her lips to the brown eyes. Santana makes no move to leave, the kiss felt so good, she needs more. So she nods slightly, and lets Brittany connect their lips again. The kiss is still soft, but it's picking up pace. Santana brings her hands to cup Brittany's face. The kiss is beautiful, but it kills them. The kiss clears their mind, but rips open their hearts. Santana almost can't breathe, and she wonders how it went from screaming to kissing. Brittany, even after all this time, still takes her breath away. The blonde can't think straight, it's like her brain is lagging behind. When Santana moans softly, she realises what she's doing and breaks the kiss, her eyes wide and her heart beating erratically.

"Oh god, oh god no… I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have- We shouldn't have, I'm not ready, I can't-I mean, you have a girlfriend now," Brittany stammers, backing up and running her fingers through her hair.

"What? No, I broke up with her. Brittany-" Santana breathes out, reaching for Brittany's hand. The blonde shakes her head, tears streaming down her face.

"Please, just go," she chokes out. Santana only looks at her, making no effort to move. Brittany feels a rage surge through her, she needs Santana to leave, or else…

"Just go!" Brittany screams, shoving her finger in the direction of the door. Santana only stands there, broken expression on her face. The room is deathly silent, only their heaving breaths can be heard. "Why the fuck don't you ever listen to me?!" She growls as she surges forward and kisses Santana again, she spins them around and pins Santana against the wall. It's not the slow kiss anymore, it's the rough one. The one filled with anger, lust, hatred, and sorrow. Santana kisses back equally as hard, and pulls at Brittany's shirt, tugging it upwards. Brittany takes the Latina's bottom lip and bites down on it, earning a soft whimper from Santana. They break the kiss to pull Brittany's shirt over her head, tossing it down wherever. Santana hasn't felt Brittany's skin in ages, so her hands are roaming everywhere, so she can familiarise herself with the body she missed so much.

 _(We don't talk anymore)  
I overdosed  
Should've known your love was a game (Oh)  
Now I can't get you out of my brain (Woah)  
Oh, it's such a shame_

Brittany pulls off Santana's shirt, and unbuttons her jeans in record time. The Latina kicks the jeans off her legs and grips Brittany's hair. The kiss is hot and heavy, open mouthed, tongues crashing against each other. Brittany brings her hands down to Santana's bare thighs, her heart speeding when she feels Santana shiver a little. She urges them up and smiles a little when Santana jumps up, wrapping legs around Brittany's waist. Brittany quickly undoes the Latina's bra, throwing it carelessly over her shoulder. The blonde can feel Santana's wetness through her panties, and she quickly pushes off the wall and stumbles to the bed, placing open mouthed kisses down Santana's neck. She throws Santana down and looks at her with dark eyes. _We aren't making love; she isn't going to make love to me. She's just going to fuck me,_ Brittany thinks. She drops her body down on top of Santana's and kisses her deeply. Brittany breaks the kiss and props herself up on one hand, looking down at the girl who she loves so much, but hates so much. They aren't saying anything, and Brittany almost breaks down when Santana sends her a soft smile, a broken smile.

Brittany smiles back a little and dips down again, pressing their lips together softly. The kiss gets heated again quickly, and their hips are grinding together. Brittany's hand travels down to Santana's underwear, where she tugs it down quickly while she kisses down her body. Santana's head falls back onto the pillows and she covers her eyes with her elbows, her chest heaving up and down and her legs spreading wider. Brittany kisses in between her thighs, close to where Santana needs it but not close enough.

" _Please,"_ Santana begs in a breathy whisper. Brittany complies, and her tongue darts out to sample the taste she's been craving for months. It's almost bittersweet, but Santana wants more, so she arches her hips up. Brittany smiles a little. _Never one for patience_ , Brittany thinks. She pushes her tongue into Santana, feeling new determination when she hears a high pitched moan fill her room.

Santana's eyes shut close and the hand that was cover her face comes down to grip at the blonde hair in between her legs. Brittany uses her hands to push down the Latina's waist, keeping her in place while her tongue fucks her. She pulls her tongue out quickly, giggling a tiny bit when Santana whines. She kisses back up Santana's body quickly, stopping to look her in the eyes for a second before she places her lips on the Latina's. Her fingers replace her tongue and Santana moans into Brittany's mouth. The blonde moves her lips to Santana's neck, wondering if her neighbours can hear Santana's moans and cries. In no time at all, the Latina is screaming into the room, her thighs shaking and her walls clenching. The physical pleasure is immense, but the emotional pain is devastating. Her heart is bleeding out while she's crying out.

Despite this, Santana feels like she's on cloud nine. Having Brittany on top of her for the first time in so many months feels like going to heaven. She still knows every spot that makes her twitch, every pulse point that makes her squirm. She wishes that this wasn't sorrow sex, and that they were making love. But they aren't making love, not yet at least. They need to get this anger out of their system; they need to fuck before the can fucking love.

 _(We don't talk anymore)  
I overdosed  
Should've known your love was a game (Oh)  
Now I can't get you out of my brain (Woah)  
Oh, it's such a shame_

"Britt," Santana starts, only to be interrupted by lips pressing against her own.

"Shh, don't. No talking," she says. Santana wants to talk, she wants to talk about what this means for them. But she'll settle for making Brittany scream. So she nods in response and flips them over swiftly, pressing kisses down Brittany's neck while her hand travels south. She can feel Brittany spread her legs and she kisses down Brittany's chest, her tongue poking out and flicking against the pink bud. She kisses back up towards her mouth, leaning away slightly to look back down at Brittany. Their eyes lock and she breathes out, taking in everything about this moment. Santana leans down to kiss her just as her hands enter Brittany simultaneously. She drinks in the way Brittany arches up, pressing their bodies flush together as she digs her nails into Santana's shoulder, dragging down, and leaving a reminder that will last for a week. Brittany's moans come in succession and right before she falls off the edge, Santana pulls back from kissing her neck and looks at Brittany in the eyes, starting at her like she can see through her soul. They stare at each other, and Brittany is so close to stumbling over the edge.

"I love you," Santana says, as she watches Brittany face contort with pleasure and she holds her as her body shakes. Brittany isn't sure that she heard that properly, and if she did, then she doesn't know how to feel about it.

"What did you just say?" Brittany breathes out, when she stops shaking enough to hold a conversation. Santana is still on top of her, holding herself up with her hand pushing down on the bed. Santana smiles down at her and pushes away some hair from Brittany's face.

"I said I love you." Santana repeats. Brittany feels elated and depressed at the same time. She shakes her head and pushes Santana off her gently, sitting up and running her fingers through her hair.

"Why would you say that?" Brittany asks. She realises how badly she's wanted to hear Santana say that for months. Santana only wraps her hand around Brittany's arm and pulls her back down, holding the blonde against her chest. She tightens her grip when Brittany tries to squirm out of it.

"Because I love you," Santana says again, simply.

"You broke up with me," Brittany retorts, finally stop struggling and sighing. She just had sex with the girl who she's been in love with for as long as she can remember, the same girl who broke her heart months ago, and the same girl who she hasn't spoken to in what seems like forever. She's both physically and emotionally exhausted.

"And I regret that every single day of my life,"

"I don't know what this means. What does it mean?" Brittany asks, afraid of the answer.

"I don't know Brittany, all I know is that I love you," Santana whispers, "do you still love me?" Brittany's entire body screams yes, and she takes deep breaths before she closes her eyes and lets her head fall back onto Santana's chest.

"Yes," she says, barely audible.

"What?" Santana says, missing the whisper. Brittany breathes out and clenches her jaw, willing herself to tell Santana.

"I said yes, I'm still in love with you," Brittany says, she wants nothing more than to stay with Santana, to run away with her, to love her forever. But then a thought crosses her mind again, as to why she can't do those things.

"What are we going to do?" Santana says, her finger tracing patterns onto Brittany's exposed shoulder.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Brittany admits, feeling sadness overwhelm her when Santana stiffens, "I'm going back to MIT,"

"We're a mess Brittany. I should have never broken up with you; it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. And I know you're leaving for school tomorrow or whatever, but can we just stay here, just for tonight? Just so we can go back to senior year, where we'd go to sleep and I'd wake up in your arms, like we use to when everything was simpler." Santana begs. Brittany feels her heart clench.

"I don't know if I can handle that," Brittany says honestly. She can't think straight, she doesn't know what she wants and what she doesn't anymore. Everything honestly feels surreal, like this is some kind of _very_ elaborate and specific sex dream.

"Just don't think about it, we can just sleep, we don't have to talk about anything. I mean, it's not like we talk anymore. Please, can we just stay here, together? Before you leave for MIT and before I have to, I don't know, go back to New York." She asks again. Brittany sighs and turns into Santana's embrace.

"Just for tonight,"

 _That we don't talk anymore_

* * *

 _A/N okay so i got all that bitterness out of my system and i'm sorry if you're disappointed that it didnt exactly end with them resolving everything but i dont think everything in life ends the way you want it to and it didnt really suit the song if it ended super good, you know what i'm saying? Like i said before though, if you guys really liked this i might consider maybe extending it a few more chapters, maybe like a short fic. Let me know what you think! Wah walugi laterz skaterz_

 _song used was- We Don't Talk Anymore- Charlie Puth_


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